1. As we all know, Nathaniel is a pretty smart guy. Even so, it took him almost 29 years to finally realize what had been in front of him, beside him, and behind him, following him for all those years as we were growing up…the best man, me.
2. He has been gently nudging me for the past few months, making sure I hadn’t forgotten that I would be brought up here to say a few words. I have a few words for him, but those I cannot say with innocent ears present in the room. Two days ago I hadn’t written a single word down on paper. I’d thought about a few specific things I wanted to say and that was about it. I sent him a text and told him I was going to “wing it”. His reply: “LOL. Sounds interesting.” The sarcasm behind his words was noted. He was skeptical, and I would have been too.
3. Yesterday evening, after the rehearsal, I overheard someone mention that the Maid of Honor had been working on a speech for some time, maybe even months. I questioned my brilliant idea to just “wing it” but I quickly go over it and was satisfied with my planned slash unplanned off-the-cuff speech as I had always done before. But as I was washing the dishes last night something told me to try and write some things down—so I did, and the following is what came out of it.
4. They say that each typewritten page should take about a minute to read aloud. If that’s true then everyone here should only have to endure me for about three minutes…if I can make it through this smoothly.
5. I would like all of you to know, before I really get into my speech that I wrote this without sleep for more than 36 hours…so here’s hoping it all makes sense.
6. Nathaniel and I have had our differences and fought and carried on--but always reconciled our differences, forgave, and moved forward. We will always be brothers, no matter what has been in the past or what may be in the future; you’re stuck with me forever.
7. Our brotherly relationship is much like a marriage and how a marriage should be…though not to say that we’re like a married couple, but the principles are the same.
8. Now that you and Amanda are married, you both have an even greater responsibility to each other as well as to yourselves and your future children. I have been married for nearly ten years now to my wonderful wife, Victoria, so I feel I have a little room to talk on the subject. You will have your differences and you will fight. The key is to always reconcile your differences, forgive one another, as well as yourselves, for the mistakes you or the other made, and to move forward, strengthening and supporting each other indefinitely and unconditionally. These are just a few of the values that Mom taught us by her own example.
9. There is one line in the wedding vows that I cannot agree with completely. “Until death do us part”…I find this to be a metaphorical line drawn between a married couple reminding them that their time together is limited. I believe that if you spend the remainder of your life in this world living with, caring for, and supporting unconditionally one person, that you should want to spend life beyond this one with that person as well. It SHOULD NOT have to, and DOES NOT have to end with our passing from this earth. That is our choice to make but we must keep our promises to one another.
10. Nathaniel, I’m sure you remember when you were 14 and I was 12, sitting in the judge’s chambers at the Jackson County courthouse…Dad was waiting outside as we were told by the judge that we had to decide, because we were of age and had the right to make our own choice, whether we both wanted to go with Dad or one of us go here and the other go there. You turned to me and said “we should stay together”. This was in June of 1995—a little more than 16 years ago. I’ve never forgotten that moment. That was my big brother, watching out for me. You’re not so big now, are you? Mom always said that one day I would outgrow you…and she was right. As she was about so many things.
11. In August of 2001, when I was 19, a senior in high school, and Alexis was born, you were there. You agreed to be her Godfather. You’ve watched her grow into the beautiful young lady she is today.
12. When I left for Haiti in March of 2004 and again when I left for Iraq in September of that same year, you were still there for me, for my wife and young daughter in case I didn’t come back the way I’d left. I knew they had at least one person that would be waiting for them.
13. And finally, in May of last year, you stood there with me in the trauma room at Holzer Medical Center in Jackson. We knew what Mom wanted and did not want--and together we kept her wishes. Being the patient advocate that night, when the patient was our own mother, was the most difficult test of both my personal and professional life. The only thing that could have made it any more difficult would have been if you hadn’t been there, standing in that trauma room with me.
14. I’ll have all of you know—Amanda was there at Nathaniel’s side, as was Victoria at mine.
15. I must give credit where credit is due. My wife, Victoria, was there for me when Dad passed away, when two of my teammates in Iraq were killed, and again when another friend of ours was killed in Afghanistan. She was there by my side, although thousands of miles away, taking care of our daughter by herself. Unwavering was and is her love and dedication to me. She is a model spouse for either husband or wife. We should all strive to be as dedicated.
16. Nathaniel, you have always been there, as I will always be there.
17. I can’t recall a single time in our lives that I have expressed my appreciation for all that you have done for me and for my family…
18. You’re my brother and I love you, indefinitely and unconditionally.
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