Mourning for Ourselves

Hey Again,


       As promised, I’m going to tell you a bit about at least one conversation Vicki and I had the other day. I’m sure you remember a friend of mine and Vicki’s that we used to talk about all the time, Calvin Harrison. You weren’t here last September but he was killed in Afghanistan while out on a mission. Vicki and I, along with the girls, went back to North Carolina for the funeral and met his parents and some of his family. AZ and Ellie were there too, of course. We went by our old house just down the street from Calvin’s place. It was an experience very difficult to describe. It was difficult to go back to his house and him not be there.

       Of course this time of year has become a difficult one. Seven years ago this October two of my teammates from Iraq were killed just a few days after I left them standing at the helipad. Calvin was the one who convince the chain of command that I should be told and that he should be the one to tell me, which he did in the living room of our old house just down the street from his.

       A wise man in charge of a book stand at a flea market once told me something I have often quoted and will never forget: “Mourning is not for those who have passed, but for those of us who are left behind to live on without them.” Or something like that. My memory is pretty bad so I have to paraphrase most things. I believe that this bit of knowledge has helped me deal with and understand the passing of others. As I recall, this knowledge was passed on to me sometime during the summer of 2005, after my teammates were killed in action.

       I know you will understand this and I hope this will make sense to those who read it someday. There is one more recent conversation I will write about in the next post but Sariah is needing my attention at the moment. Talk to you later.